Meet the Mama: I hate having my picture taken.

I hate having my picture taken. I am hypercritical of myself. I always hide when someone brings out a camera.

If I am forced to pose, I feel all awkward. How many chins are showing? Are the black circles under my eyes especially heinous today? Am I smiling too hard? If I sit/stand/lean/kneel like this is it better or worse?

And heaven help me if it's a group shot. If you think those are always better because you can hide in the back......you must not be only 5 feet tall. See, when you are vertically challenged everyone seems to grab you and shove you front and center.

Even half of my children are taller than I (well one has an inch or two to go, but she still has great posture and isn't trying to hide extremely large breasts, yet). So you can only hope to be in front of women who are larger than you. Men don't count. I don't compare myself with them. (Though I reserved the right to mock any man whose girth is smaller than mine.) The repetitive chant looping through my head at this point is.... "Do these people I surround myself with make me look fat?" If so, it may be time to find a new group. 'Cause it must be their fault, right???!!!?? (It's Mother's Day, say "Right!" ~ at least throw me that bone).

And then my friend wanted me to post a picture of myself. I hemmed and hawed and said I didn't have any pictures of me. She said what about that one I saw the other day? Oh, well that was from a long time ago. That got me thinking I could use ANY picture. A baby picture, a picture of me from college, whatever, the sky was the limit. So I told her when she started her own blog, I'd post a picture. I figured I had at least the summer to get it together as my friend wasn't allowing me to *push* her as others claimed I did. Matter of fact, if a blog didn't come in ebook form, I figured I was safe with this friend. Guess what she did? Yup, that same day!!! And to top it off, she's a skinny biatch!!!!! Actually, they both are. (Maybe that explains why they want to be friends with me ~ but how does this benefit me??)

Please go visit The Keeper of All Things and leave her a comment and show her some love.

Then tell her I DID post a picture of myself. It was taken last year, when I was 8 months pregnant, at my baby shower for my youngest. Everyone gives the pregnant woman some slack, it's only right!! So, I'm not fat in that picture, I'm "heavy with child" :).

*I'm off to break up with all my skinny friends and make new friends that are pleasantly more plump than I*